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Dionysus who seems to know my every thought says, ‘They are making love, Catriona.’ I am puzzled at this. ‘But they are not coupling… I mean… they aren’t having sexual intercourse.’ ‘Not in the way you have come to understand it, Catriona, but they are more closely bonded than any physical penetrations you have experienced.’ A wave of revulsion sweeps over me. At first I do not know why, but then a apparition rises before me. I see a room, a small gaudy room with a bed. Men come and go as I lie on the bed. Some have stiff penises others are flaccid so I have to work on them. Some have small some large penises and they are pushed into me. Some demand that I suck their shafts or let then push it up my anus. Some tie me and beat me, others I tie and beat. There is pain and the drugs I must take to get through yet another day and night. Half an hour, and then another man, often foul breathed, sweating, unloving, uncaring, and just wanting my body for a brief ejaculation. There is. I...respectgirls more than that. I am not into guys either, I think. Does thismake any sense?" Maybe. You know, you could use some therapy. I am a psych major andmaybe I will talk to a teacher and see if there are any good therapistsin that area." I'm not sure about all this," I said."Well if you don't want to..." Alexis answered."It's not that, it's just..." I trailed off. "You know what, go for it." OK, I will," she answered. A couple of days later, Alexis told me tomake an appointment with a Dr. Culver. He worked on campus, so it isfree to students. I made the appointment.The therapy started off with Dr. Culver getting to know me and myhistory. I told her everything I could about myself. She asked meabout my sex life and I told her I had none. Dr. Culver asked me ifthere was anything from my childhood that would have me acting this way,and I could not remember anything. I told her no, but something was notright about that."Every time I try to really remember my.
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